Following their recent (separate) trips to North Korea, the New York Philharmonic and Former President Bill Clinton have joined forces and are seeking opportunities to rescue hostages in foreign countries using what they are calling “the universal language of music, through which all people can come together and celebrate beauty.”

This news comes on the heels of the Philharmonic’s season opening concert with its new CEO/conductor Alan Gilbert, the young hipster whose mother seems to have got him the job, and who is determined to shake things up at the doddery institution.

For their hostage-rescuing concerts, Mr. Clinton and the Philharmonic will perform emotional renditions of democracy-spreading works for narrator and orchestra, including Aaron Copland’s Lincoln Portrait, Joseph Schwanter’s New Morning for the World, and a new work composed by John Williams entitled Diplomatic Sonorities.

The Cereal List awaits word of who will be the embedded reporter for these escapades (Smith? Midgette? Wakin?).